Friday, January 14, 2011

a leetle bit craaazy...


I could get used to this – seeing the sun rise every day. It really is worth going to bed a little earlier to be able to get up and see it. I need to remember that when I no longer HAVE to be up at the crack of dawn…whenever that day comes.

I’ve been struggling a bit the last couple days wondering if this was a good decision or just foolish to come here without knowing these people or this place at all – especially without a car. Probably a bit of both – foolish, but also potentially good, since there are good things to be learned and growth to be had from every decision we make, right? It’s been just over a week now, and I’ve left the dairy five times –each errand generally lasting less than a half hour…

…and I’m feeling a little crazy.

This combined with too much think time the last couple days = general feelings of unsettled-ness. I think if I were not totally dependent on the dairy people to take me places this would be a bit less of a strain, but since I need a ride to go anywhere – to the grocery store, for example, my ride either comes and walks with me through the aisles as I pick out what I want… or they sit in the truck and wait. I hate having people wait on me. But I also don’t like people tagging along with me everywhere I go all the time. On the other hand, I’ve had a ton of alone time.

Not good.

Everything is just feeling a bit out of whack…out of balance: alone time when I want to be with people, (but specific people, not coworkers)…and company when I want to be alone. Am I just being too particular? We’ll see…Work will pick up Sunday - it's a cheese day, so we'll be waxing and packaging cheese between morning and evening chores...And then washing down the milk parlor with bleach water Monday and Tuesday so they can paint it when Mike and Ed are back from vacation on Wednesday… And once they're back we'll start prepping for the kids' arrival. There will possibly be more opportunities to get off the dairy for little bits of time – to the Walmart (woohoo… :/ ) or the grocery store… And they want to have me start working every other farmers market in Santa Fe, alternating with a day off so I can go wander Santa Fe on my own…which would help a lot, I think… But it’s looking like I’m still going to be pretty isolated and dependent… Which I kind of expected… I just thought there was going to be another intern here when I arrived, at least that was the plan when I signed up for this… And I guess my discomfort with this situation isn't that I don't get to run off every day - I'm generally content to stay put - but that I don't have the option of doing so, unless someone else needs to go somewhere, and even then it's on their schedule...Kind of a bummer. So it’s just me and the goats for now.

Oh, and there was a dead mouse in an empty bucket this morning in the milk parlor.

No food or water or anything in there…just a little deceased mouse. Poor thing.

I will go take pictures of cheese now so that I won't leave you on a low note. It's a beautiful day - lots of wind. :)





my raw cow gouda soaking in brine! we're waxing it sunday!

raw goat gouda, i think.

raw cow romano:

the mountains on one of our errands early this week...

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